WHAT I DID WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING MY ECOLOGY PAPERS pt. 1
Yesterday I was trying to drown my sorrows in comics at the comic book store but there was nothing that I was really ready to fork over three bucks for. I got a text on my phone that said there was a barbecue at the house I’ve been crashing at. I bought the new issue of Secret Avengers and drove back to the house. On the way I blared a chopped and screwed version of Ride by Ciara and screamed along angry and crying a little bit.
Earlier that day I’d gone to the pet store at the mall because I wanted to see what they were doing in there. They let me play with a $1600 pug puppy for ten minutes and I sang her Running up that Hill by Kate Bush. The puppy had a lot of energy and sat in my lap pretty good but she was sneezing a bit. The people there said she came from a breeder and showed me all her paperwork and things looked legit. It was one of those things I did because I wanted to know more about what I think tends to be a fucked up situation (pet stores that sell dogs) but also because I wanted to cuddle with a puppy. Sometimes I wonder if that’s sort of the nature of some of the stuff I did in South America. I think it’s really fucked up that people keep monkeys as pets and so I go to South America and take care of monkeys like they were pets, and then I try to show people that they shouldn’t keep monkeys as pets because they’re smart, incredible, potentially loving creatures which is why they wanted to have them as pets in the first place.
When I finally got to the house I listened to Ciara one more time in my car and then went inside. There were a few people out for some BBQ but it was barely sixty degrees so it wasn’t much of a pool party. California’s been pretty much freezing since I’ve been back. A certain town drunk showed up and stayed for an hour after everyone had left. We all got high and played Mega Man X on a Super Nintendo that my friend Danny bought at Game Dude. Then Danny and the drunk sort of talked me into calling this guy friend of mine up and asking him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. He had been at the party and seemed really sad. I told him that I’d be the best fucking boyfriend he’d ever had and I’d make him breakfast and listen to the story of his life and drive him places when he was drunk.
I DID IT! I´M FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET! I´M ON A POPULAR BLOG! I´M ON BOYSANDCATS! I´D LIKE TO THANK GOD AND ALSO MY SISTER JULIE FOR TAKING THIS PICTURE!
JOHN WITH HIS FOSTER KITTENS CAM´RON, CHARLES SCHWAB, TINKER, AND DR. SCHOLL